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H, Heidi Montag

Heidi Montag – Superficial

Before I start, I want to say that this blog is very openminded, including for artists like Heidi Montag. There are fans out there that love her, and since she has worked with several credible people in the industry, it was worth listening and reviewing. Enjoy.

superficial Heidi Montag, the (im)famous reality star who came into all our lifes with the hit show The Hills. Werther we wanted or not, she was there along with the friendship of Lauren Cornad and Spencer Pratt. We watched these rich kids grow up and pay off the bills on their own in Orange County. Perfect teenage amusement. But since the start of the show, things have changed quite a bit.  And guess what? Heidi sings! Okay, tries to sing. But whats the difference. Who has followed the show, knows that they secretly love her.

The first song is called “Look How I’m Doing”, and I believe its the fist of the many club baggers we’re gonna hear.  It’s everything and all I’ve expected. A high barbie voice with sexy beats. Yes, its fully Heidi Montag.

talking about her barbie voice, thank god for auto tune. I wonder how the whole album would sound like without auto tune.  But she’s lucky because on the next song “Turn Ya Head”, she doesn’t really have to sing. She just has to um… talk on a singing way. But for some queens and teenage girls, its a good song. I am, though, kind of afraid the next song is gonna sound exactly the same.

And guess what? My expectations  came out. “Fanatic” reminds me of a bad amateur demo of Kylie Minogue’s “X”. But its Heidi, I expected worse. The clever thing is that they found a way to make the robotic voice look natural, I mean, natural in its environment.  Since the song is robotic as well.

Aaah, the next song is a song I’m excited for: “Superficial”. If you could describe Heidi in one word, that would be it. And thats when the work of actual professionals come in. They created a song and an album title that fits perfectly with the artist. They could’ve just gone with “fake boobs”, tool.  But they chose for “Superficial”, and I’m liking it. Yes, I do.  Even though it sounds exactly the same as her other songs, it does have something different.  Or maybe I just want it to sound different.  The thing is that she sings about proving the opposite.  “They say I’m superficial but they really don’t know me.”  Hmm, yea, sure, Montag.

With the next song, I was actually kind of dreaming away, but then I was shocked.  WHAT IS THAT? Okay, so I do tend to overreact, but this song is definitly different. “More Is More”, is from what I’ve heard, one of the better songs. Not lyricial wise, those lyrics sound like a twelve year old wrote it. But if I would be half drunk and in the mood, I could actually dance to this song. I’m not saying it will be nice to look at, but I’ll leave that up to you.  The great thing is, that I could actually see myself singing it, too. It’s catchy. And its not that hard to sing, anyway. No doubt.

So, while we are in the club anyway, lets have “One More Drink”.  This song is an good attempt to be a good electro-pop song. But she’s not quite there yet.  What I like about it is that she has a break in the middle of the song, and that makes it a half proper electro-pop song.

We’re at track seven now, with a song called “Twisted”, and I hope its gonna be a song that is twisted. This album really needs a twisted one. At first, it seems like it is, with a guitar intro.  A guitar intro that sounds like a video game guitar, but okay.  The song did actually surprise me. The thing is that this song could  be good, if Heidi could sing. But I rate it as a good Hilary Duff song.

“Hey Boy” is a song that I also like. First of all because it has semi good lyrics and they make me wonder if she’s talking about her husband Spencer. I doubt it.  “Hey boy you’re not the one for me”, isn’t the most romantic thing to sing when you’re just married to this guy.

O, god. “My Parade” is one of a kind. It features an actual parade. But you know what? I actually like that kind of effort. But it still sounds just the same as all her other songs.

“Blackout” is the next song and so boring. Ugh.

“I’ll Do It” sounds like a video game at first, and that attracts me.  “I’ll be your hot mess, if thats what you like”, she sings. And all those  other naughty things. Including words like “Panties”, “Stilettos” and “Fishnets”. Why do I believe what she sings? O well, she’s married, I’m not gonna do the parent-alarm.  What I like about the song is the end. No, not because then its done, but because of the freaky way it ends. It ends just like that, snap.

We’re at the last song. It better not disappoint. Wow, a different kind of voice comes out on this track.  in “Love It Or Leave It”, Montag sounds like a man. Its still not really… that. But She should have more of those vocals in other songs. At least I could be able to detect what song I was listening to without having to look at the track title.  Anyway, its not a bad song.

So, Heidi Montag has made her first real and big album. I can’t say its a disappointment, who would get their hopes up for her, anyway? But it is what it is, and I don’t think she’ll ever be able of improving herself. Not with that voice.  The weird thing about all these songs is that the intro seems to be surprising and interesting but near the end of the song you can’t help to think: “god, that song sounds exactly the same as the other songs.”  And that is really sad.

I had wished for a little more of a “Fashion” sound, the Lady Gaga song she recorded too.  With her fake French, it was hilarious. Without Gaga’s help, she did give her best try.



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